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It is easy to spot a newcomer to The Valley's independence day fete,
they're the ones with jaws agape standing on the sidelines as dead
ringers for the cast of Rocky Horror Picture Show walk aside their political (sometimes politically incorrect) floats.
They pull their children back from the sidelines as the jolly green
giant struts down Main Street; they smile, shake their heads in
disbelief at the spectacle and make plans to return next year.
There's nothing more American than a 1944 fire truck, a red, white and
blue ambulance or Kenny Winter's ever so, "free to be" in a tie dye
romper.
There were British Petroleum balls stuck to beautiful ladies,
complimentary Swine Flu shots and a giant whale tail.
Poodles with Mohawks dragged their dirty paws down the street, there
were cameos made by Santa Claus and the Village people. There was an
1861 hearse and a traveling jazz band, a group of African drummers, a
mobile (not anymore!) gas station, and Michael Jackson reincarnate
trailing a trio of gals in coconut bras.
Riders mixed with moon walkers, big oil spills trailed a giving gas
station and got stuck behind Vermont Yankee.
Nobody really loses, but here come the winners...
"Best in show" went to Dr. Butsch, old Sicky and the family band that
reunited for a tribute to the "afterlife, liberty and colon
cleanliness."
The Valley joint dispensary was up and running with doctors and nurses
offering sexual healing, germ assassination, and the comfort of a leafy
green loin cloth. All watched as Brian Mullet Miller dehydrated before
everyone's' eyes wrapped in a "Purehell" suit made in 99.99 percent
saran wrap, .01 percent tin foil, but 100 percent awesome.
"Best musical float" went to some young musical talents under the
direction of Bruce Sklar who jazzed up the midsection of the parade.
"Best non-Prickly float" went to "Dog is my co-pilot" from Spawn and the
Devil motorcycle club, and "best kids float (and most balls) went to
the Bridges Resort for their "Red, white and pop!"
Mac Rood won "best politician," "the race to replace Vermont Yankee"
headed up by Galen for Governor won for "best political float," and Bev
Kehoe and the Festival of the Arts crew won "best injury."
The award for "best decorated float" went to LaRock Property Maintenance
and the "funniest float" went to Dave Sellers and the "Warren Village
People." David Steinman's 1909 E-M-F was dubbed "best antique car," and
Sugarbush was awarded "best commercial float."
"Best promotional float" went to the Mad River Valley Rotary, Mountain
Pools took "coolest float," and the best judges bribe/best bike float
went to "here comes Santa Claus" by the Common Man. Prickly Mountain's
"whale's tale" won "most creative (and highest octane)," the African
Djolie drummers and dancers won "best dance float."
The Village Grocery's "giving gas station" took "gassiest float. The
most patriotic Male went to Jim Hogue as Ethan Allen and Susie Ricketts
was named most patriotic female.
Wayne and Kim Kathan won "creepiest float" with their town of Warren
1861 hearse and the folks from Zeno Mountain Farm won "best newcomer"
with "1969."
The Waitsfield-Fayston fire department's engine number 1 got the award
for best fire truck.
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