I propose that Vermont offer the naming rights to a variety of state
locations, symbols and structures. The result of these efforts will be
to bring a lot of corporate interest from throughout the country to our
fair state as well as giving our printers and map and sign makers a nice
infusion of work. So here are some of my suggestions and I look forward
to seeing a budget surplus in the not too distant future.
We'll start with the Green Mountains which will now become the Walgreen
Mountains. This might even help with health care issues. Next we have
foliage season brought to you by Sherwin Williams Paints. We could even
set up an auction and get a few other paint companies bidding up for
these naming rights.
My other suggestions include The Silver Cup Bread Loaf, The Morgan
Stanley Horse Farm, The Raisin Branbury State Park, The AFLAC Waterfowl
Area and The Land of Lakes Champlain. And, of course, there is The
Golden Griddle Dome at the state capital along with the Block Buster
State House. Then there's Campbell's Hump which all Vermonter's know is
mm-mm good. There is the Burton Snowboard State Park. That might get the
snowboarders to visit the Land of Lakes Champlain and thus expand our
tourist population. Chimney Point would become Metalbestos Point.
We will have a real coup when we rename the Winooski River the Amazon. I
think that would work. The Roxbury Fish Hatchery could become the Bass
Master's Fish Hatchery. We'll be trading in Quechee Gorge for The Gap.
Short, elegant and the money should flood right in. We could tap the
Dollar Maple Tree and see what sugars off. And finally we could rename
the Bennington Monument the Viagra Monument. Pfizer will pay dearly for
that attention getter.
I'm sure there are many other opportunities that will present themselves
during your tenure, but I figure this should give you a nice push to
get our financial ship in shape.
John Malter lives in Waterbury Center.
